Confidence
by LadyMiriamele
Summary: Resolutions and re-examined friendships. SLASH RLSB


**Title:** Confidence  
**Author:** LadyMiriamele  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters, I'm making no profit off of this, etc. I'm pleased that JKR is okay with -- supports, even -- fanfiction, unlike some authors who I will not mention. (I never liked any kind of _rice_, anyway.)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** Resolutions and re-examined friendships.  
**Notes:** My first R/S fanfic. Well, technically, it's my second. My first is a work-in-progress that, by the looks of things, will never be finished.  
This is a short fic focusing mainly on character interaction.  
Dedicated to Sam, who is responsible for my love of the Harry Potter novels, and my obsession with Remus and Sirius.   
**Feedback** is most appreciated.

Remus was so absorbed in his transfiguration book, he was unaware that his name had been called three times. His eyes continued to move back and forth over the pages, taking in as much information as possible and transferring it to his brain. He wasn't stressing – that was too light of a word; he was _fervently_ involved with his studies. The only worlds that existed to him were that of his brain and that of the book. He only heard his name when it was yelled for the fourth time because it followed a pillow's flight to his head.

"Finally!" Sirius exclaimed when Remus looked up at him, hair slightly ruffled from the impact of the pillow. "I've been _trying_ to get your attention for the past ten minutes."

"Sorry," Remus mumbled, turning his attention back to his book. "O.W.L.s." was the explanation he offered.

"O.W.L.s?" Sirius sounded exasperated. "We have months until we need to worry about them!"

"I'm just reviewing the stuff we learned last term," Remus said quietly.

"You worry too much."

Remus flipped a page. "Maybe."

Sirius sighed and threw himself upon his bed. He began to talk, but his words were muffled by his blankets. The only words Remus was able to make out were "bored" and "James." Hearing them, Remus stopped the movement of his eyes and found himself unable to continue reading. Sirius had suddenly taken up every corner in the room, and Remus was beginning to feel trapped.

His chest was tight and his eyes were stinging from lack of moisture by the time he asked out loud, "Where is he?"

Sirius lifted his head and turned it toward Remus, regarding him with a strange expression. "Who?"

"James." Remus thought this was obvious, but then allowed himself to wonder how long it took for him to respond to Sirius' muttering into the blanket. The world inside his head sometimes ignored the basic principles of time. That is, all time except for the waxing and waning tides that created a parallel to his body. That time was engraved upon his mind.

Something fleeting passed over Sirius' face, but was gone before Remus could read deeply into it. "Oh." Sirius donned an unreadable smile. "He's with Peter in the library, I think."

Remus nodded. He figured that Sirius' company meant James was otherwise occupied and therefore, Remus was a last resort. It didn't bother him that much; he was used to such figuring when it came to Sirius.

"You could find him," Remus offered, but it translated to, _You're not stuck with me. _He tossed his book aside, as his reading was no longer effective, and sighed heavily.

"Nah," Sirius responded offhandedly.

Silence descended. Remus occupied himself by standing up and walking to his trunk. His clothes were still unpacked from the winter holidays, which ended the day before. Remus slowly began removing and refolding his clothing, mind elsewhere.

"So tell me," Sirius called, after a moment. He was lazily brandishing his wand at the ceiling. "Any resolutions for this lovely New Year?"

Remus continued folding and spoke without looking up. "I didn't know you followed that tradition."

"_I_ don't. I was wondering if _you_ did, which would be why I asked," Sirius responded, his tone edged with impatience.

Remus shook his head. "I don't."

"Well," Sirius said loudly, standing up and brushing himself off. "I think your resolution," he began, moving forward and taking the book that Remus was in the process of removing from his trunk, "should be to study more." With that, he threw the book upon the bed and went to leave. "I'm going to go find some girls to fool around with!" he called as he exited.

Remus sighed and sat on the bed. "No," he murmured to the empty room. "I think it should be to build my confidence."

"Lily is beautiful!" James cried as he came into the room. Remus looked up from his book, which he decided to read again after he finished unpacking and settling in. "Amazing!" James threw himself upon his bed.

"She is pretty," Remus agreed, because he knew James would be looking for a response.

"Pretty?" James asked incredulously. "_Pretty_ doesn't come close to describing her beauty! I can't believe I never saw it before! My friendship with Lily is over!"

"What?" Remus asked, surprised. "What do you mean, 'over'?" He frowned, also wondering what friendship James was referring to, as he recalled Lily stating that she never wanted anything to do with someone as "arrogant as that Potter."

"I mean that I can no longer look at her as just a friend. Hasn't that ever happened to you?" He sat up and regarded Remus. "One moment, everything is normal, and the next..." He trailed off.

Remus shook his head. "I don't think so."

James sighed heavily. "I'm going to get her to date me."

Laughter followed that comment as Sirius entered. "Oh really? And who are you going to _try_ to get to date you?" he asked James

"Git." James threw a pillow at him. "This is serious!"

"Lily," Remus answered for him.

Sirius stopped with the pillow in mid-throw. "You fancy her?" he asked James.

James nodded and smiled. "And I think she might like me too."

"Who?" Peter asked as he walked into the room.

"Lily," Remus answered once again.

Peter flopped on to his bed. "Classes tomorrow," he said, sounding unhappy.

Sirius was looking at Remus with an odd expression on his face. Remus stared back and suddenly, he felt self-conscious. He looked back down at his book, trying to hide his discomfort. He continued to feel Sirius' eyes on him.

"Hey." James waved his hand at Sirius. "Snap out of it. I need my fellow Marauders to help me win Lily's heart."

Sirius grinned. "Of course! But how can we Marauders think on an empty stomach? I think it's time for a kitchen run."

"I'll go!" Peter exclaimed, perking up. "But not alone."

"James will go with you." James shot Sirius a look. "It _is_ your project. You need to provide for your humble workers," Sirius said with a smile. "Otherwise we become disgruntled. And you wouldn't want us messing up chances with Lily, do you?"

James grumbled in resignation. "Come on Peter." He grabbed the invisibility cloak.

After the two boys left, Sirius knelt beside Remus' bed. He waited for Remus to acknowledge him, but once it became clear that he would not, Sirius spoke. "Are you angry?"

Remus turned a page. "At what?"

"At James." Sirius' voice was uncharacteristically kind.

Remus stopped reading. "Why would I be?"

"He fancies Lily."

Remus just looked at him, waiting for him to explain further.

With a sigh, Sirius removed the book from Remus' hands and tossed it aside. "I know you like her."

"Of course I like her," Remus replied, confused.

"I mean..." Sirius sighed. "I've seen the way you look at her."

Remus' eyes widened. "You think...You think I fancy Lily?"

"Don't you?"

"No!" Remus exclaimed, perhaps a bit too defensively. "No, not at all!"

"Oh." Sirius' brow furrowed. "I just thought -- you both are Perfects, after all, and--" He stopped and moved closer, his eyes locked with Remus' is.

Remus watched him for a moment, the self-consciousness returning forcefully. He looked around quickly, pretending to see if James and Peter were back yet, and then looked back at Sirius. Something happened as their eyes met once more. Remus' stomach tightened and he felt his breath catch in his throat. "Oh," he managed to choke out as he remembered James' words.

"Oh what?" Sirius asked, standing up and breaking the eye-contact.

"I just--" Remus shifted in his bed. "Nothing..."

A moment of silence passed between them. Then, without warning, Sirius was leaning over Remus, his face close. Remus tried to push further back into the bed, but found he could not. He entertained the thought of pushing Sirius away, but then realized that if it weren't for the most uncomfortable sickly feeling in his stomach, he wouldn't mind Sirius being so close.

"Siri--" Remus began. He stopped abruptly when Sirius' mouth closed over his for a brief moment.

Remus had a hard time catching his breath when Sirius pulled away.

"I decided I need to build my confidence too," Sirius said quickly, jumping away from Remus.

Remus opened his mouth to respond, to ask, to say _something_, but James' voice stopped him. "Food!" it rang out, and Sirius yelled, "About time!" and laughed as Peter handed him a plate that was holding delicious chocolate cake.


End file.
